Don't Know Who I'm Kidding
by Enchanted Ivy
Summary: Following the death of his godfather, Harry Potter gives in to the darkness that has taken over his soul and he takes Hermione along for the ride. Will a certain Potions Master be her salvation? HHr, SSHr. Very dark. Graphic torture scenes.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

"But what if he – escapes somehow?" she asked him, eyes looking across the gray sea apprehensively.

"He won't," Severus assured her. "He won't."

"But – how do you know for sure? He could – he hates me, Severus, he hates me!"

"Shh…he doesn't – hate you, he's just a bit – unsettled right now. Give it time…" He patted her hair, a bit awkwardly. Tears streamed down her face, and she brushed away impatiently.

"I – can't help but feel that it's my fault –"

"Don't say that." His voice was soft, but dangerous, shaking with anger. "What he did to you, what he turned you into – don't you dare say that it was your fault, Hermione. The blame lies with him, and only him. Damned Potter." He gritted his teeth, and started to say something else, but was interrupted.

"GOD DAMN YOU MOTHERFUCKING LITTLE BITCH! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL RIP YOUR BLOODY CHEATING HEART OUT WHILE IT'S STILL BEATING! MARK MY WORDS, I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL ESCAPE SOMEHOW, SOMEDAY, AND I'LL KILL YOU! KILL YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME! I'LL FUCKING KILL – "

Hermione was sobbing as he was Stunned and the guards dragged him into the prison, out of the dim light into the darkness of Azkaban. "Oh – oh God, Severus, he – he – did you hear - ?" She collapsed as he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Shh…shh…it's okay, love, it's okay…"

"He said he'd kill me if he ever got out! Did you hear –"

"Yes, he did. But he won't escape from Azkaban, it's impossible, love." He kissed the top of her head gently.

"It is possible…S-sirius did it –"

"Despite his – many – shortcomings, Black was an innocent man. I'm afraid I can't say the same of Potter."

She was quiet. "Severus…will you promise me that you'll be here for me, no matter what?"

"Of course."

"I love you Severus."

"I love you too."


	2. Chapter 1: Sickness Rising

A/N: Same song, different tune. The new and improved "Don't Know Who I'm Kidding." (10 points to your house if you can tell me what the title's from. ) Warning: Pretty graphic abuse/rape in this chapter. Also, if you're one of those people who can't deal with Evil!Harry…please turn back now, as he's going to be evil for…the rest of the fic. And the sequel.

Disclaimer: They're not mine. I know it, you know it, so leave me alone.

_**Chapter One: Sickness Rising**_

_It seems you're having some trouble_

_In dealing with these changes_

_Living with these changes_

_The world is a scary place_

_Now that you've woken up the demon_

_In me_

_Disturbed, Down with the Sickness_

"I'm sorry, Harry. Please, try to understand – " she stopped, her speech halted by the fact that he had slapped her with all his might, across the face. She tasted blood. "Shut up," he said quietly.

The look in his eyes frightened her. "I can't stay with you anymore, Harry. Not when you treat me like this. You – you've changed so much since Sirius died. You've become a completely different person." He smiled then, and it was a smile that somehow didn't belong on his usually good-natured face. She took a step towards him.

This is ridiculous, she told herself firmly. It's Harry. Your best friend. The Boy-Who-Lived. You're not afraid of him, are you? Oh, but she was.

Nevertheless, she took a deep breath and said "I'm leaving you, Harry." The blank smile was still frozen on his face. "No, you're not," he said calmly. "Yes, I am. I'm sorry. I can't deal with the person you've become," she said with quiet conviction. Without another word, he kicked her to the floor. "Crucio," he said softly, his wand pointed at her.

And then she was screaming in agony, her body twisting and turning on the floor. She experienced pain as she never had before; all other types of pain paled in comparison – stubbing her toe, biting her tongue, menstrual cramps, that time she had accidentally spilled Burning Potion on her arm in Potions – all of it was nothing, compared to this. Nothing. She thought she was going to die. It went on for what seemed like hours. She felt blood vessels in her eyes popping violently, and her vision was obscured by a wash of red. Through the haze, she could see him laughing maniacally, his shoulders heaving as he watched her suffering with obvious glee.

No, not Harry. she wept for the boy she'd grown up with and loved as she realized that he was gone and furthermore, that he had been gone for some time now. She wondered dimly why no one had noticed when Harry had slipped into darkness and insanity. Probably for the simple fact that he hid it so well. He always seemed fine on the surface; she realized then that his easy joviality was nothing more than the thinnest veneer. But the veneer was cracking now and she could see what lay beneath.

The pain was excruciating; it permeated every cell of her body. She begged him to stop, but it was almost as if he couldn't hear her. He was watching her, his eyes glazed over with pleasure. Watching with those cold green eyes. The same green as the foul poison that had likely been eating away at him since the death of his godfather. Or maybe even from when Cedric died.

She shuddered as she tore her eyes away. She could drown in those eyes, they were so beautiful. She moaned with relief as he finally lifted the curse. She was lying on her back, barely aware of her surroundings as Harry grinned.

"Learned your lesson yet, bitch?" She nodded. "Sorry?" he asked maliciously. "Didn't quite catch that." "Yes." She said weakly. "That's all very well," he drawled, sounding for all the world like Draco Malfoy, "but I still think you should be – punished." Suddenly his foot came down so hard on her stomach that she was sure he had broken a rib. Or two. It hurt even more than it would have normally because of the Cruciatus.

She gasped loudly at the pain. He peered at her detachedly from above, then bent down and pressed his lips to hers roughly, forcing his tongue down her throat. She didn't resist. Instead, she closed her eyes and cried silently. He broke away then, and without another word, walked away, leaving her lying on the cold stone floor, helpless.

A/N: Well, I did warn you about evil Harry...If you feel like flaming me right now, just sit tight, there IS a reason for his…evilness. You'll see.

Please review! Constructive criticism is always welcomed. Thanks to all the people who reviewed last time. I'll try to get the next chapter up in a week or so.


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